Nov 15

Musical Musings

I was in the car with Tibby Armstrong and Deidre Knight. Deidre plugged her phone into the car. This was the first and last song played on our mini road trip (and it was totally accidental, lol)
I love Norah Jones like whoa. Have all her music she’s ever released. And it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s from Texas. Seriously. Her voice makes me happy in the ears.
Lindsey Stirling is a genius on her violin. I now wish I’d stayed in music lessons when I was little because even though she’s younger than me, I want to be her when I grow up.
Want to hear what’s on everyone else’s playlists? Click the links below:

Oct 24

My Zombie Wedding by T Strange – excerpt

Genre: paranormal romance, M/M, contemporary romance

Length: 71,000 words (novel)

Blurb: Any city is bound to collect restless dead. Armed with the notebook of Icelandic magic his ex boyfriend, Bone, gave him, Edward Grey has been tasked with removing troubled spirits or finding ways for the living and the dead to coexist in harmony. Between planning his wedding with his undead Canadian fiancé, Kit Ward, and his continued studies as a medical student, Edward didn’t need another commitment, but he can’t turn away people who are frightened or in danger. 

A particularly vicious ghost gives Edward an ominous warning—they’re coming—and a few days later Edward’s notebook is stolen from him. While he’s attempting to find it, he and his mentor, Mariel, are confronted by a very powerful necromancer and barely escape with their lives. 

On the run, Edward is pursued everywhere he goes, until the necromancers following him manage to capture Kit. 

Edward’s hunt for his kidnapped fiancé will take him to the underworld and beyond.



I was sweating by the time I arrived at Bone’s apartment. I pressed the buzzer for his unit and waited. I was terrified that I’d be grabbed at any moment, that Bone wasn’t home, that they’d already gotten to him and were holding him at gunpoint—it crossed my mind that he’d probably find that sexy, and I dismissed the thought as quickly as possible—and were waiting upstairs to capture me. I had almost convinced myself to walk away, to come up with another plan—though I had no other ideas—when the speaker crackled to life.

“’lo?” Bone’s voice sounded muffled, like his mouth was full. Was he gagged? Was he with someone?

“Who is it?” he asked, when I took too long to answer.

“It’s Ed—ward.” I’d almost called myself Ed; he’d trained me well.

I definitely heard him swallow. “Ed! Come on up, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

That couldn’t be good. Maybe he was trying to talk me into a threesome, with someone who wasn’t Kit—not that Kit could ever be convinced, for love or money, to sleep with Bone.

The door buzzed and I pulled it open automatically, no longer sure I wanted to go upstairs, but I needed to find Kit and I couldn’t do it alone.

The minute I opened the door between the stairs and Bone’s hallway, something felt…wrong. Usually my intuition isn’t very good, but my forearms and the back of my neck prickled. I tapped on Bone’s door, lightly, with one finger. The door swung open; it wasn’t even fully closed, never mind locked. Not like Bone, not at all. He’s paranoid about security. He usually doesn’t even let me in without physically seeing me first. The hall was strangely quiet, too. Bone usually has screaming, throbbing metal rock music playing. I have no idea why his neighbours haven’t gotten him kicked out of the building—maybe they’ve met him.

A small, triangular face appeared in the doorway, the movement—low to the ground and inhuman—startling me, but it was only one of Bone’s many ‘rescue’ ghost cats.

I clucked to her, and she very cautiously stalked over to me, most of her going through rather than out the door. I wondered, briefly, how Bone kept the ghost cats from wandering.

Petting the cat felt like I was stroking fur submerged in icy water. I was so hot from fear and walking in my unseasonably warm coat that the coolness was almost a relief.

I’d delayed long enough. I nudged the door open, wide enough for more than a cat to pass through. The ghost cat escorted me inside, marching in front of me, kinked tail held high and proud. I couldn’t see any visible signs of how she’d died, the way I could with some of them, and I was okay with that.
The apartment was dark—not only were the windows covered, as usual, in thick blackout curtains, but the lights were all out, except for one at the end of the hall. The bathroom light. Why was Bone in the bathroom, with the door open, when he knew I’d be coming up right away?

The clowder of ghostly felines glowed softly in the darkness, the intensity gently rising and falling to the rhythm of their purrs. It was both beautiful and eerie at the same time. Kind of like Bone himself.
“Hello?” I stepped around several ghost cats, trying not to look at them too carefully so I wouldn’t have to see the gruesome injuries some of them bore. I also had to make sure I didn’t step on Bone’s one living cat, a Ukrainian Levkoy named Rasputin.

“I’m in here,” Bone replied, his voice still oddly muffled. Was he eating in the bathroom?

Learn more about the Undead Canadian Series here.


T. Strange didn’t want to learn how to read, but literacy prevailed and she hasn’t stopped reading—or writing—since. She’s been published since 2013, and she writes M/M romance in multiple genres. T.’s other interests include cross stitching, gardening, watching terrible horror movies, playing video games, and finding injured pigeons to rescue.
Originally from White Rock, BC, she lives on the Canadian prairies, where she shares her home with her wife, cats, guinea pigs, and a small dog. She’s very easy to bribe with free food and drinks—especially wine.
If you’d like to keep track of her latest releases—plus exclusive coupons and giveaways—you can sign up for her newsletter.
The Undead Canadian Series
My Zombie Boyfriend
My Zombie Fiancé
My Zombie Wedding
Bits & Bones (forthcoming)
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Oct 18

Wordless Wednesday: Autumn where I live


Usually, I stick with the rules and don’t write anything on Wordless Wednesday, but since it’s my first post in a while and I’m currently battling a cold that won’t freaking go away, I’m feeling rebellious. That could be the cough syrup. Autumn in Houston… well, this is what you get when you Google “Autumn in Houston:”

Watch The Fall Colors karbachWatch The Fall Colors

Pretty, huh? But looking outside my front door right now, when it’s supposedly already “autumn…” It looks NOTHING LIKE THAT.  I just took this pic, standing at my front door:


See? Nothing like the above photos. Well, I could easily imagine some of my neighbors sitting on their porch enjoying a beer. Maybe not pumpkin beer, ’cause we mostly drink Bud Light or Stella, but that’s neither here nor there. The trees are still green, as are the shrubs and random greenery we have within our courtyard.

The weather tends to change pretty quickly here in Houston, this time of year.

Taken this morning:


And then just now:


By this evening, it’ll be chilly again. See why I have a cold in October? Mother Nature can’t make up her mind. Also, this is why we get such lovely weather. If you haven’t heard, it’s hurricane season.

From Wikipedia:

Autumn in Houston is warm, with temperatures averaging in the upper 60s to lower 80s °F (20-28 °C) during the day and in the 50s to lower 60s °F (10-17 °C) at night. Cool fronts that move through the region during the fall can bring rain. Hurricanes can move into the area from the Gulf of Mexico, bringing heavy rains and high winds. However, most years see little or no significant hurricane activity. Flooding most frequently occurs in October and November.


October, 2015. So, while the north is getting snow (which we haven’t seen since… 2008, I think), we get rain. Usually, a lot of it. Harvey just dumped a few billion gallons of water on us a few weeks ago, so I’m pretty sure the upcoming storms this weekend won’t be awesome.

Okay, we all know the weather can suck in Houston. That’s not a surprise. But there really are some AMAZING things to do here, and the mostly temperate weather during this time of year gives us the ability to run around half-clothed (like most of us do at the Texas Renaissance Festival), go pick pumpkins or take pictures in a pumpkin patch, go to one of the many Christmas markets that are already popping up around the city, or just hang out on the front porch like my neighbors and I do.




Autumn is my favorite time of the year. It gets chilly enough to wear a sweatshirt (my favorite of which, I have on right now), wear jeans and boots, or hang around the house wearing fuzzy socks, drinking hot tea, and reading (or writing!) a good book.

Want to see what autumn looks like for the other bloggers? Click the links below:

Bronwyn || Jess || Gwen

Sep 27

What I gained–or lost–by taking a risk

wednesday randomness

On December 30, 2015, I was working at St. Luke’s hospital doing portable x-rays in patient rooms. I was in an ICU room with a single nurse helping me to lift a patient in order to slide the x-ray board behind them. The board caught in the fabric of the bed, causing my arm to bend at an odd angle. I felt something like a rip in my shoulder, followed by immediate, blinding pain.

I went to occupational health, where I was sent to an outside health center. They took x-rays (nothing found wrong), prescribed me some anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers, then put on light duty at work. Of course, the higher ups at work weren’t thrilled with effectively losing one of their techs for two weeks, since I wasn’t allowed to do much more than sit at the desk or supervise the students within the department.

Once the two weeks were up, my shoulder wasn’t any better. They sent me to physical therapy for two weeks. My shoulder hurt worse. I was finally sent to have an MRI done.

If you’ve never had an MRI let me explain how it’s done. They shove you into a tiny tube where you barely feel like you have any room for breath or any other basic life functions. I had to lay there for 45 minutes being completely still (which isn’t possible on a shoulder MRI because YOU HAVE TO BREATHE). The results wouldn’t be in for about a week and a half (because Worker’s Comp is notoriously slow). In the meantime, I continued doing physical therapy and light duty at work.

When the results came in, it was discovered that not only was my rotator cuff torn, but the physical therapy they’d had me doing was doing more harm than good. Oops.

I went back to physical therapy, had steroid shots in my shoulder, and stayed on light duty. This continued for months. And the environment at work (which was already depressing to begin with) became downright unbearable. The other techs began to shun me because they were working their asses off while I appeared to be living it up on light duty.

I can promise you that light duty is not fun. I did every single menial, mind-numbing task they could think of. I may enjoy binge-watching TV shows and drinking wine, but I can’t handle sitting still for too long. My mind must be engaged and I tend to get up and wander around to do things while I’m binging whatever TV show I’m obsessing over at the moment.

So, I quietly began looking for another job. I had a friend at the Methodist hospital next door to St Luke’s in the outpatient clinic. She let me know they were looking for another x-ray tech. She also let me know that patient lifting wasn’t much of a thing there, and the workload was significantly less than that of St Luke’s. I put in an application. I interviewed. I got the job.

When I turned in my 2 week notice, the environment at work got WORSE. People were downright rude to me. The day I talked myself off light duty (wayyyy too early–it’s more than a year later and I still have intense shoulder pain), they shoved me into every single area of the department possible–making sure to put me where I hated and where I’d be sure to HAVE to use my arm. A lot.

I was due to start work at Methodist a week later. But they had an issue with my high school diploma. Because I graduated from a tiny private school (which has since closed its doors), they claimed that my high school diploma wasn’t valid. No matter that the US Navy thought it was perfectly acceptable. No matter that I’d graduated from college. No matter that you can’t get an x-ray license without a diploma or GED. They had an issue with it. So I couldn’t start work. They dragged it out for another two weeks.

By the time I was supposed to start, my (now ex) husband and I had sat down to discuss my taking some time off to write and edit full time. We decided that I’d be the one who took care of the house while I wrote and edited ALL THE WORDS.

I took almost an entire year off work. During that time, I managed to write a couple books and edit dozens more. I officially opened Paige Prince Editing for business. I learned so much about the writing world I couldn’t possibly have learned if I were working myself to death at the hospital. I built relationships with fellow authors and readers.

I went back to work in February of this year…part time, but still. I’m now working for a staffing company that sends me to different surgical centers to run the C-Arm mostly for pain cases (epidural steroid injections) which was my favorite part of working at the hospital. I’m making way more money than I ever could have at the hospital. And if I don’t like one of the locations I’m sent to, I just tell my boss and she doesn’t send me back there.

The best part? I still have time to write and edit. Granted, I’m busting my ass a little more at x-ray these days, but that’s because Hurricane Harvey kept me out of work for two weeks, and overdraft fees are no joke.

I’m happier now than I ever have been. All because I took the chance to quit a job where I wasn’t valued or happy and dared to do my own thing.

Check out the other bloggers’ posts by clicking the links below:

Bronwyn || Jessica


Aug 16

Wordless Wednesday: Summer where I live


4 6b86b8d9bdfb38b5acfef0040494df2d--too-funny-funny-pics 7e10b201e37730d25f46084cfb399d13--funny-memes-funny-pics 600_461216329 878cb56ae607befed5022248e8913104--kemah-galveston 920x920 HoustonFromSH288_Panorama-L kemah-boardwalk master guide to summer fun


Want to see what summer is like for the other bloggers where they live? Click the links below:

Bronwyn  || Jess  || Gwen || Kris || Jessica

Jul 11

Grammar for the dirty-minded

I wrote this for a post on a website I visit due to some of the posts I’d seen flying around and comments on my profile. Keep in mind that it was written for the kink-minded, so it’s far dirtier than I’d usually write, but hopefully it helps some of those who are a little confused on grammar. Or just want to laugh at some of the crazy shit I came up with for grammar examples.

This is probably going to make me look like a bitch or a snob, but grammar mistakes make my eye twitch. I’m an editor. It’s part of my job. But, even as an editor I make them occasionally. I’m human–I can’t catch everything. But judging from the amount of basic grammar issues I see everywhere on the internet, people either don’t give a fuck or they just don’t know. In case it’s the latter, I’ve put together this handy list.

Your indicates possession.
“This is your pen.”
“I’m going to your house.”
“Your cock is thick and beautiful.”

You’re is a conjunction meaning “you are.”
“You’re going to the store.”
“You’re a nurse? That’s cool.”
“You’re sexy as fuck.”

It is always “you,” “you’re,” or “your.” Never “u” or “ur.”

To is used used to indicate the place, person, or thing that someone or something moves toward, to indicate the place where someone participates in a particular activity, or to indicate the direction of something.
“I’m going to the store.”
“I need you to pick me up from the airport.”
“I’m going to eat you out and you’re going to come in my mouth.”

Too means in addition, more than what is wanted, needed, acceptable, possible, etc., to a high degree or extent, very or extremely.
“You went to XYZ high school too?”
“I, too, drive a Chevy.” (Okay, people rarely talk like that… and I drive a Ford, but I digress.)
“I want to fuck your mouth, your pussy, and your ass, too.”

Two is a number.
“I have two pencils.”
“I drive two cars–my personal vehicle and my work truck.”
“I want you to slide your cock between my two pale, perfect breasts.”

There means in that place; at that location; to or into that place; at that point in a process, activity, story, etc.
“I want to go there.”
“Please put the papers there on the table.”
“Can I please lick you there?”

Their is defined as relating to or belonging to certain people, animals, or things; made or done by certain people, animals, or things; his, her, or its
“Their home is lovely.”
“Which parking space is theirs?”
“Their nipple clamps are nice and tight. I would definitely buy them again.”

They’re means “they are.”
“They’re going to the party.”
“They’re driving together.”
“They’re fucking on a regular basis.”

Then means “at that time.” It is used to indicate what happened, what happens next, or what should be done next.
“I went to the store, then I went home.”
“First, the nurse drew blood. Then she requested a urine sample.”
“I want to come down your throat, then I want to fill your pussy.”

Than is used as a function word to indicate the second member or the member taken as the point of departure in a comparison expressive of inequality. It is also used with comparative adjectives and comparative adverbs
“I’d rather chew glass than eat kimchi.”
“My grandmother says she is older than dirt, but I think she’s only about 53.”
“He prefers to fuck her ass rather than use a condom.”

By request:
Affect is the conscious subjective aspect of an emotion considered apart from bodily changes; a set of observable manifestations of a subjectively experienced emotion; to be given to : fancy; to make a display of liking or using : cultivate; to put on a pretense of : feign; to tend toward
“The patients showed perfectly normal reactions and affects.”
“Drops of water affect roundness.”
“She affected indifference, but she really loved when he fucked her ass.”

Effect a change that results when something is done or happens : an event, condition, or state of affairs that is produced by a cause; a particular feeling or mood created by something; an image or a sound that is created in television, radio, or movies to imitate something real
“The special effects in this movie are so realistic, I could swear there really are giant blue aliens running around!”
“My back yard flooded as an effect of Tropical Storm Allison.”
“The effect of him coming inside me is I now have cum dripping down my legs”

Come is the action of having an orgasm.
“I want to come inside you.”
“Come for me, baby. Fill me up.”

Cum is the product of the orgasm.
“I love feeling your cum drip down my legs after we fuck.”
“Your cum tastes so good.”

May 17

Musical Musings: parents, siblings, and childhood



This month’s musical musings post focuses on things that remind me of my parents, siblings, and childhood. Being the obsessive music person that I am, this list will undoubtedly be damn long. Because music is an integral part of my life, and I use it as a reference point for pretty much everything in my life. My playlists have playlists, and everything has meaning. Either the words remind me of someone/something, or the song was playing during a certain event and it’s been forever linked in my mind that way.



Travis Tritt – “Anymore”  When I was in… I think it was 3rd or 4th grade (somewhere around there), we moved to Humble, Texas and lived in the cutest little townhouse (actually, it could’ve been a shithole now that I think about it – I was young, so what did I know about real estate?) and we got MTV for the first time. We still listened to the radio more often than not, and “Anymore” was my mom’s favorite song. I remember her playing it over and over again, standing in the kitchen or the dining room singing along with the cassette tape (yes, I’m old enough to remember those).

Peter Frampton – “Show me the way” and “Baby I love your way” My mom was in love with Peter Frampton when she was growing up. She and her friends used to write letters to each other and send them in the mail with “Mrs. Peter Frampton” and “Mrs. Donny Osmond” on them. Adorable. Anyway, both of these songs have been my mom’s ring tone at one point.

Anything from the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band soundtrack – Yes, the BeeGees/Peter Frampton movie. She obviously loved it because Peter Frampton was in it, but honestly, who doesn’t love the Beatles’ music? To this day, I can’t hear any of those songs without thinking of the movie. And I need to introduce my own daughter to the awesomely bad musical/movie. :)

Brad Paisley – “Rainin’ You” When I was in the Navy, my mom listened to Brad Paisley CDs pretty much non-stop. Specifically: this song. She was obsessed. I love the song too, and it actually inspired a short story (which can be found as a freebie on my site)

Darryl Worley – “I Miss My Friend” My mom re-wrote the lyrics to this song and sent them to me in a letter while I was in boot camp. I cried like a little girl when I got the letter, but it’s the song that played in my head when I ran battlestations (the final step in boot camp which marks your official move from ‘recruit’ to ‘sailor’) that reminded me that my mommy (who is also my best friend) misses me and I couldn’t see her if I didn’t make it through. A couple years later, I met Darryl Worley when he was playing a concert at a place called Cowboys in San Antonio. I told him that, and he gave me a hug AND bought me a drink. So, thanks Mom. :)


Brad Paisley – “He Didn’t Have to Be” This is my stepdad’s ringtone. He’s been in my life since I was 12 years old, and married to my mom since I was 16. He’s still my friend, and he’s always been an amazing Dad to me.

Rush – “Tom Sawyer” Pretty much any Rush song reminds me of my stepdad. They’re his favorite band on the planet. Literally. Even though he can’t really speak after his stroke, he can still sing every word to every Rush song.

Shania Twain – “From this moment on” I sang this song at my parents’ wedding on June 5, 1999. I was so nervous that I’m pretty sure I hit a ton of flat notes, but seeing my mom so incredibly happy to marry this wonderful man… seeing how they smiled at each other… it was worth standing in front of hundreds of people and singing about their new lives together as husband and wife.

Biological Dad

George Strait – “Amarillo by Morning” My father is a musician, and this is one of the songs I used to hear him play when I went to see him as a kid. He still sings it sometimes on the phone with me. I will never hear this song without hearing my dad’s voice in the back of my mind, singing along.

Toby Keith –  ”Who’s that Man” My dad used to say this song resonated with him because he missed my twin and me, and he wanted his family back together. But he’s been happily married to my stepmom for almost 27 years (this June!) and they have two beautiful children together (seriously – my younger brother and sister are GORGEOUS).

Brooks & Dunn – “Hard Workin’ Man” My dad has busted his ass his entire life. He’s a construction manager at a big firm up in Dallas now and is doing pretty well for himself.


Actually… I’m sad to say that there really aren’t any songs that remind me of my stepmom. She and I were more about books than music. She introduced me to Shakespeare and Trixie Belden, and I still love talking about whatever book we’re reading at the time when we talk.


Chris (Twin) 

This list could go on forever, seeing as how we’ve known each other since we were wombmates (heh). A few years ago, when Chris was in AIT (Army speak for “the school you learn your trade in”) I made him a couple CDs I called “Remember When” and they were all songs that we listened to when we were kids/teenagers. We used to sing most of these on the bus on the way home from school. We were the last stop, so we had a lot of time to kill…

Brooks & Dunn – “Brand New Man”

Ahmad – “Back in the Day”

John Michael Montgomery – “Life’s a Dance”

All 4 One/John Michael Montgomery - “I can love you like that”

All 4 One – “I Swear” 

TLC – “Waterfalls”

Steven (23 year old)

Pokemon theme song *giggles* He’d hate that I put this on the list. But he doesn’t do social media, so there. Anyway, he used to fall asleep listening to the Pokemon soundtrack every night. On repeat. ETA: Crap. Yes he does. Though, he only does Twitter. So maybe he won’t see this one…

Andrew (16 year old)

Justin Bieber – “Baby” Actually, I’m pretty sure he’s always hated this song. But he’s still sporting the Bieber haircut that made all the little boys flip their hair to the side, so I can’t help but include a Beebs song for my sweet (seriously quiet) brother.

Katie (16 year old) 

Jennifer Lawrence – “The Hanging Tree” My sister was legitimately shocked that I’d never seen or read The Hunger Games when I went to visit them a couple years ago. Catching Fire had just been released, and she wanted to go see it with me. Except, I’d never seen Hunger Games. So, she pulled it up on whatever TV thing they have and made me sit down with her to watch it. And we went to the movies. And it. was. awesome.

Corey (14 year old)

Minecraft Soundtrack – My little brother is a gamer. I’m not sure what he’s playing now, because it’s been a few years since we’ve talked about anything beyond school and our parents (I admit, I’m not as close to him as I’d like to be), but the last time we talked about anything, it was Minecraft. Specifically: how awesome it is and how I need to let my kiddo play it. :)


Actually, this list pretty well covers my childhood. I mean, I could throw in some more 90s country/pop/r&B, 80s rock, disco (my mom is still a huge fan)… but I don’t think I’d ever stop adding songs. Seriously. Music is that big an element in my life that it’s pretty much everywhere all the time. The poor people in my apartment complex get to hear me sing every day. Any time I walk outside, I have my headphones in one ear and I’m singing whatever is playing. Yesterday, it was “The Dance” by Garth Brooks. Today, it’s “Home” by Michael Buble. Later, I’m sure it’ll be something by the cast of Glee, since Emma loves it so much.

That’s it for me today. Want to check out the other bloggers’ Musical Musings? Click the links below!

Bronwyn || Deelylah || Kris || Gwen

May 03

Top Ten Things I Learned From My Parents


I’ve never made it a secret that my mom is one of my best friends, so I thought this post would be super easy. Except, my mom has always said one thing when I ask her what advice she’d want to pass down. See #9. The rest are from my bio dad and my stepdad, since they love passing down  bits of “wisdom.”topten1

Okay, my mom actually said this one.topten2

My stepdad wrote this in a letter to me before I went to boot camp. <3topten3

Another one from my mom. Though, I’m pretty sure she got this from my grandfather…topten4

This one is from my mom too. I’ve passed it along to my daughter, as well. I overheard her telling it to someone at school, so my mom is pretty proud of my parenting skills. :) topten5

My biological father taught me this. He also taught me how to do both.topten6

Another gem from my biological father. And yes, he really gave that advice word-for-word.topten7

My stepdad told me this after I joined the Navy. A little too late to read the fine print on the contract, but I’ve taken it to heart ever since.topten8

My biological dad told my twin and me this when we were 16. I’ve never forgotten it.topten9

This is the number one thing my mother wants to pass on to me and everyone else in the world. So if you’re reading this, Momma says you need to go moisturize. Right now. We’ll wait.topten10My stepdad told me this when I was considering quitting college because I was so frustrated and burned out. Thanks, Daddy. <3 <3 <3

Want to see the other bloggers’ parental advice? Click on the links below.

Bronwyn || Jess || Kellie || Jessica || Deelylah

Apr 17

Songfic: “Ever the Same”

First, I’d like to take the opportunity to welcome a new blogger to the group: Siobhan Muir will be joining us for our monthly flash fiction posts. Welcome, my darling friend! :D
This month’s Song Fic is Ever the Same by Rob Thomas.
If you’re unfamiliar with the song, click to read the lyrics or watch the video.


” Her hands are cold. She’s cold. Someone needs to get her a blanket. Why won’t anyone make her warm again?”
2:13am. Kara’s cries cut through the void of my dreamless sleep, jolting me into awareness. She’s curled into herself, facing away from me. Her bronzed skin looks so pale, a fine sheen of sweat covering the body my hands had been all over just hours before.
After twelve years together, I know better than to try to touch her. She’d inevitably flail about and either give me a black eye or kick me somewhere delicate, desperate to find blankets that weren’t there. Had never been there. Wouldn’t have mattered, even if they had been.
Blankets don’t cure cancer.
“Kara.” I speak loudly enough to wake her, but not so much that I’d startle her. “Baby, you need to wake up.” I gently reach a hand out, touching her thigh with the barest hint of fingertips, jerking back before she has the chance to jump.
My wife has always been a light sleeper, nightmares be damned, so when she sits straight up it doesn’t surprise me. Much. Strands of her beautiful long, dark hair cling to her face. She blinks, unseeing in the dim room lit only by the moonlight streaming through the open window. “Ellie?” Her voice is hoarse from crying, her breath coming in shallow pants.
“Right here, my love.” I pull her into my arms and rock her gently as she sobs into my shoulder. Her tears drip into the ends of my dark curls, leaving them to sit damply on my shoulder and down my back.
I know the images playing through her mind. The same ones that haunt me, even after so many years. Our precious daughter, eyes closed forever, her skin so cold and pale as she lay in her hospital bed. We’d tried so hard to conceive. Found the perfect donor and did everything short of ritual sacrifice to make sure Kara stayed healthy during her pregnancy.
Ava had been born so beautiful, so perfect, so healthy that we never dreamed anything could happen to her. But when she was four, she started to lose weight, and Kara noticed a lump on Ava’s neck when brushing her hair one day. A routine doctor’s visit had turned into a trip to the emergency room. Then a hospital admission. A transfer to the best children’s hospital in the country.
Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
By the time we caught it, the cancer had spread throughout her body. Rather than discussing treatments, the doctors gave us hospice care options and instructed us on how to make her comfortable.
Tears brim in my own eyes as I remember the last day with Ava. How she tried so hard to stay awake and stay positive for her mommies. Her little hands clasped in ours as we prayed yet again for a miracle that would never come.
Ellie and I don’t speak, letting the silence of the night envelop us. Grief lingers in the air, mingling with so many happy memories of our life together.
That’s it for me this week. Hopefully, the other ladies will have something a bit more upbeat in store for you. Click the links below to see what they’ve written.

Mar 01

Wednesday Randomness: Top 10 Things I Avoid


1. Cooking. As much as I love to cook, when it comes to making dinner, I drag my feet and pull my hair and don’t even decide what I’m making until it’s time to start making it. So, we eat late most nights. Lol.

2. Blog posts. I don’t think I’m all that interesting, and most of the time my mind goes blank when I sit down to write something. You should hear all the blog posts I write in my head while I’m driving in the car. That’s when I’m brilliant.

3. Calling people. I hate being on the phone. Haaaaate.

4. Getting dressed. Pants suck.

5. Anything crafty. I’m not crafty. So of course I’m gonna drag my feet at making something Or just avoid it entirely.

6. Laundry and/or dishes. I need a maid. So bad.

7. Going to the gym. Even if my back and shoulder weren’t fucked up, I don’t care for the gym anyway.

8. Shopping. I don’t like people much. I hate shopping more social anxiety is real and panic attacks are no fun.

9. Getting dirty or sweaty. It’s a texture thing I guess, but I loathe the feeling of being dirty or sweaty. I immediately have to wash my hands or get in the shower.

10. Watching the news. It’s all so goddamn depressing. No thanks.


Want to see what the other bloggers avoid? Click the links below:

Jess || Bronwyn || Kellie || Deelylah || Torrance || Gwen || Kris

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